With the U.S. Presidential election closing in, it is time to get serious about who deserves your vote.
We decide such important matters not only based on aesthetics and rhetoric but also on the big questions of the day. Questions like "How much is Palin's wardrobe worth?" and "Did you know that Obama rhymes with Osama?" spring to mind. As you can see, there are a multitude of questions and not enough time before we vote to get answers for them all.
So, let me give you one question that could help you choose the next leader of the free world: "Who should we bomb next?"
Obama would have you believe that McCain would simply stay the course and continue bombing Iraqis and Afghanis. But do we know this for a fact? And even if McCain does "stay the course" there could still be other opportunities to blow another population to tiny bits (consider the recent strike by our forces in Syria. Do I smell conflict?)
And what about Obama? "Change" is a wonderful thing to vote for but we do need some specifics. I might have missed his plan for the next conflict. And if I have, I apologise. But if he hasn't spelled out his platform on foreign aggression yet I have a suggestion that I believe fits in well with his platform thus far. Given the frequent references to J.F.K.'s Camelot I think that Cuba might be a natural target. If only Castro can hold on a month or two longer!
Nothing puts a little spring in the step of a lagging economy like a good old fashioned war. So tell me, Presidential hopefuls, who do we decimate next - and then I'll tell you if you get my vote!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
You're just jealous (and you can't read).
The American people recently bailed out AIG to the tune of $85 Billion. Now every news outlet is posting the "how could they spend so much money on their nails" story regarding a recent company outing. Predictable!
The problem is not with the cost of the executive retreat that took place last month ($440,000). The problem is not even with the people who are writing these shallow stories. The problem lies with an education system that can't even teach the 3 "R's". In this case, arithmetic seems to be the issue.
I'm going to try to do some simple math to give the story a bit of perspective.
85,000,000,000 X 0.01 = 85,000,000 (this means that 1% of AIG's bailout is $85 million).
85,000,000 X 0.01 = 850,000 (this means that 1% of 1% of AIG's bailout is $850 thousand).
850, 000 X 0.01 = 8, 500 (this means that 1% of 1% of 1% of AIG's bailout is $8,500.00).
440, 000 / 8,500 = 51.76 ish
So what does this mean? This means that the total cost of the retreat is about half of a percent of 1% of 1% of ..... no..... wait a second.......it means that half a....... Well, I think it's probably a really small number (thanks a lot public edumcation).
Hopefully you get my point. Of course if you attended any of the schools I attended - you probably can't even read this blog (and you are undoubtedly wondering why there are no pictures of naked people on your Internets - concluding it must be broken, you are now randomly smashing numbers on your iPhone with the vain hope of contacting the Internet people).
So, let's not get our knickers in a knot. It's only $440 k. If you really need to be upset about something - how about this:
440,000 - 2,949 = 435,071 (that means the total bill before gratuities is $435,071).
435,071 X 0.01 = 4,350.71 (that means that 1% of the total retreat bill is $4,350.71).
The total gratuities on the bill amounted to $2,949.00. That means that the folks at AIG tipped less than 1%. Some might say they're cheap - I say frugal.
So the real question becomes, how does such a fiscally responsible company end up in such a financially dire position? One thing's for sure, it certainly couldn't have been their fault. Maybe when O.J.'s done finding the real killer (see the 90's for reference) we could hire him for this little AIG mystery.
The problem is not with the cost of the executive retreat that took place last month ($440,000). The problem is not even with the people who are writing these shallow stories. The problem lies with an education system that can't even teach the 3 "R's". In this case, arithmetic seems to be the issue.
I'm going to try to do some simple math to give the story a bit of perspective.
85,000,000,000 X 0.01 = 85,000,000 (this means that 1% of AIG's bailout is $85 million).
85,000,000 X 0.01 = 850,000 (this means that 1% of 1% of AIG's bailout is $850 thousand).
850, 000 X 0.01 = 8, 500 (this means that 1% of 1% of 1% of AIG's bailout is $8,500.00).
440, 000 / 8,500 = 51.76 ish
So what does this mean? This means that the total cost of the retreat is about half of a percent of 1% of 1% of ..... no..... wait a second.......it means that half a....... Well, I think it's probably a really small number (thanks a lot public edumcation).
Hopefully you get my point. Of course if you attended any of the schools I attended - you probably can't even read this blog (and you are undoubtedly wondering why there are no pictures of naked people on your Internets - concluding it must be broken, you are now randomly smashing numbers on your iPhone with the vain hope of contacting the Internet people).
So, let's not get our knickers in a knot. It's only $440 k. If you really need to be upset about something - how about this:
440,000 - 2,949 = 435,071 (that means the total bill before gratuities is $435,071).
435,071 X 0.01 = 4,350.71 (that means that 1% of the total retreat bill is $4,350.71).
The total gratuities on the bill amounted to $2,949.00. That means that the folks at AIG tipped less than 1%. Some might say they're cheap - I say frugal.
So the real question becomes, how does such a fiscally responsible company end up in such a financially dire position? One thing's for sure, it certainly couldn't have been their fault. Maybe when O.J.'s done finding the real killer (see the 90's for reference) we could hire him for this little AIG mystery.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)