Since this won't end well......

To my middle eastern dictator friends:

Don't spend too much time or money trying to bump off Obama. If you just exercise a bit of patience, we'll eventually do it for you.

To my African-American friends (not really friends - I'm using it like you use "brother/sister" to someone who isn't related to you):

When Obama ends up assassinated just remember - it's not necessarily a racial thing. I mean, most white supremacists are far too busy trying to figure out how many more Trans Ams they can put up on blocks in front of their "double wide" - there is just no time to plan a good 'ol assassination.

To the white supremacists (who are having this blog read to them):

Remember to only shoot his black bits!

And to all of my fellow Americans:

Here's to four years of being lied to with beauty, style and grace - a much welcomed change from the bungling whoppers of the present administration. Enjoy!

vote!!!

Remember people: How good do they look? How good do they sound? Who will they bomb?

Now, get out there and exercise your democratic right to vote! I don't care who you vote for - republican or Democrat. I don't even care if you understand a single issue. Just vote.